I opened it up and it was his "report card" for the second "marking period".
Back in the early days of autism we would've read something like that intently looking for a glimmer of hope or progress, but would almost always get depressed instead.
This time? I chuckled to myself when I realized what it was and how long it's been sitting there.
The I tossed it aside into the toss it pile.
It wasn't a specific written progress note from his speech teacher or his OT. And this wasn't the kind of detailed report that you'd read from and reference in an IEP meeting. Those kinds of reports I would've paid a bit more attention to.
But this was almost like the equivalent of a typical 4th grader's report card. Ok, maybe not a typical 4th grader's report card but it's still the kinda stuff that's over my son's head.
It's got a numbered grading key.
And as usual for Kyle's report cards, there's always mostly 1's or N/As on it.
Why even bother? Don't even waste the postage.
Sorry to be so glib but why the F are they still sending us report cards for?
I guess I'm a jaded parent of a kid with severe autism...but we've been on this same autism roller coaster for a LONG time now.
And through those years the wife and I have hardened & toughened.
We love our kid and we know what he knows and what he doesn't know. My wife drives him to & from school every day and gets daily reports & feedback with his 1:1 aide.
So I'm fairly confident that there's nothing in that report card that's gonna surprise me or depress me or make me happy.
Oh wait, he's at grade level and/or "Meeting Standards" for taking turns!!
That's something, right?
:-)
-------------------------
I know, I know, the school has to send them... that's the law, etc. I got no beef with the school that Kyle goes to... I'm just a jaded, hardened ol' severe autism dad... that's all... :-)
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My 17 year old gets report cards with straight A's on it despite the fact that he's working at a 3rd grade level...and he's so innocent & naive to believe he's 'really smart'!!!
ReplyDeleteI'm with you on this one. We've asked ourselves the same question. I guess they're required to thats all....regardless how of meaningless it seems. I honestly take 100% more stock in the daily communication notebook sent to and from school daily in his back pack. Realtime progress reports I call them.
ReplyDeleteI totally agree with everything you posted.... Report cards, iep expectations etc.etc... my daughter is 9 with mild autism diagnosed last may... As long as she's happy I'm happy, grades mean nothing.. She's made social progress & communicating better now, that's an A from me ... Each little thing of any progress is better than none... :)
ReplyDeleteI find this all very upsetting, from where I stand. If you ever need to be in serious negotiations, Mediation (informal, formal, or pre-Due Process), or in Due Process proceedings with your child's School District, having "official Report Cards" can be crucial.
ReplyDeleteBesides, Report Cards are keepsakes. We aren't going to keep every Communication Log, every Therapist's Eval & Report, every Standardized/Alternate Test Result Repot, etc.
Try not to give up on placing this type of importance on Kyle's things....the things EVERY kid gets!
When my son was in public school I would go to the parent teacher conference but I would tell teacher i don't want to see the report card. There is no point. Who the hell wants to be reminded your kid is way below grade level. I just threw them in trash the other times. The good thing about non public school.... no reports cards!!!
ReplyDeleteI dread them. DS is so low functioning he has NO idea. But they ALWAYS make me cry. And not out of happiness. In the pile it goes. [sigh] Sorry, Blondie (above). - Cathy
ReplyDeleteIve been tossing my sons evals and progress reports aside for years, Just cant bare to read how crappy hes doing.Hubby and I decided to sign him up for 10 private speach classes that is covered by insurance.Hes 14 and weve never taken advantage of this before- anyway, im sitting wirh him & the therapist, first time, and the therapist gets all his picture cards out and starts asking michael tons of questions really fast , and my son is getting them all right.I almost fell over- this therapist that we stumbled apon was amazing, I had no idea my son new these things- it took a fanrastic teacher to get it out of him.
ReplyDeleteIts funny because our IEP "team" uses the report cards to lie about how much progress he is making.
ReplyDeleteMy autistic son is not in school yet and I started to find reports immediately depressing back at 12 months old. So I don't think I will find report cards any different, but I am also an elem school teacher (specialist) and I find grading special needs children more uncomfortable than nearly anyone else. What is right? fair? accurate? Do we grade the child based on the above rubric, which means they can never attain a 3? Do we grade them based on their personal work ability? And what that mean depending on the child? Comments are going to be more valuable than a number for any kid, but depending on your case load (mine at 550), I can't give every child written feedback. Teachers need to learn how to make more positive comments (especially towards our sped population) and SPED parents need to start coming to meet their teachers. ALL of their teachers. SPED parents should feel comfortable talking to their child's teachers. Nothing is more annoying than hearing from a SPED teacher. I experienced that in the high school environment too. If you have a question or concern, contact the adult that created the assignment, has the rule, etc. Don't be afraid and don't ask your SPED case manager to talk to the art, phyed or music teacher :)
ReplyDeletePlease don't throw them aside... they are Kyle's. I know it is hard to see them, I feel the same way, but I am still proud of my daughter for doing the 'smallest' things. She is who she is and I am PROUD of who she is. Be proud of Kyle's reports - he is a wonderful young man. Love to you and your family.
ReplyDeleteI know exactly what you mean with the report card. I value so much more the daily notes I get from my daughter's case manager, along with the IEP updates. The district where I work is moving toward communication on an ongoing basis, rather than putting so much emphasis on a report card. For most kids, the report card is too late in getting parents information about progress; in my case, it says nothing. Most of it is blank except for information from the specialists (art, music, phy ed). I can't imagine getting any thing useful out a middle school report card next year!
ReplyDelete90% of the time, report cards are a "no shit sherlock" type of information, but once in while they are useful, such as when needed for independent confirmation or as a developmental milestone marking he was functioning at this level on this date, years later this may be important.
ReplyDeleteAs a 15 year foster parent of several autistic children and others, I can't emphasize enough the anon comment made at 6:58 AM above: "I had no idea my son new these things- it took a fantastic teacher to get it out of him."
Your child's progress in a program is mostly attributable to the talent and enthusiasm of the people working with him.
qaz
All a report card do for me is remind me that I can demand whatever I want attend every IEP the fact is he will never catch up and will need to depend on me forever an ever. He will never be excepted by ppl with his behavior's and diapers.If I be honest he come to school to give me a break because it's the only place I can send him that will or have to except him and they call often. No I don't need to or want to see a report card to slap me in the face with what I already know,he'll never be on the honor roll,ask me to use the car,go on a date and never play sports,be in the band etc..The fact that only those being pay will deal with him hurt and hurt back.
ReplyDeleteI used to get pissed about the same thing! Really, what is the point...the point is so the school an prove they are following the law and meeting goals on the IEP. Which for me is the reason they always set the goals close to what she has "mastered" anyway. I used to think it was me just being bitchy and irrational but, now I'm certain it really is idiotic! Thanks for clearing that up for me ;)
ReplyDeleteIt is funny that you are posting this now. I just received my daughter's report card today, she has Asperger's syndrome. She has had a horrendous year, where she has learned absolutely nothing, and they send home a report card, and on the front is NEEDS IMPROVEMENT for every single behaviour. She has actually never gotten this before, usually she had a few Satisfactory, or Goods, this time, they gave her all N's. Then the rest of the report card was not filled out except for language, which they say they are teaching her, and they gave her an A, but they didn't evaluate her.
ReplyDeleteNot sure why they are sending these things home? How does it help us as parents to help our children. How is this building our child up? All it does is point out on paper, how she is not doing well.
My husband and I decided to ignore the first page all together and tell our daughter, how wonderful we thought she was doing in language! LOL Thanks for your past, always authentic and straightforward, love them.
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I am also annoyed and like that there are other parents out there like me...except mine is different on that he gets straight As with circle arts them meaning special ed..I would rather see cs with circles around then atleast then I would know maybe teacher took 5 second instead of two to think about it...
ReplyDeleteWe have a child with specific learning disabilities (dyslexia) and in the process of identifying whether or not he has ADD. he's in 2nd grade He gets ALOT of 2's on his report card and a sprinkling of 3's in reading and math. They want to retain him. He has an IEP. I asked the school Sp.Ed. teacher if 2's were considered failing and she said no. Seems odd. I am currently confused. Wondering if the report card has to be all 3's and 4's to pass. Wondering what educators have told any of you.
ReplyDelete